A Hollywood Story

“So, what do you do?”

That’s the million dollar question in Hollywood that occurs within twenty seconds of introduction. And depending on how you answer, the dialogue either continues or quickly fades to black.

For example, if I meet an actor, and answer The Question with, “I’m a producer working on my next feature,” I suddenly have a friend for life. If however, I meet a fellow producer and disclose that “I’m an actor looking for my next gig,” I might as well wear a sign that says, “Run Forrest Run, as fast as you can.”

If I’m an actor who currently has a guest star role on Grey’s Anatomy, The Question can’t come quickly enough. I want to shout from the Hollywood Hills. But if I haven’t booked a paying gig in over a year, That Question feels like an uppercut from Tyson.

Since the majority of actors I meet are currently in the latter category and somehow define their self worth by their employment, I already know they look forward to THE Question as much as they yearn for a root canal. So, I’ve begun to experiment with asking a different question.

Instead of asking, “What do you do?” and receiving a rote list of credits, I want to know, “What’s your story?”

Everyone has a story.
Most of us love stories.
We remember each other’s stories long after we forget credits.

Moving Movies and Real Life Stories
How can we ever forget the runner who won Olympic gold after switching races to honor his Sabbath? Or the young woman who determined to surf again after being attacked by a shark? We rejoice when the booted-off singer lands an Academy Award-winning role. We grieve with the model whose fiancee doesn’t survive the tsunami. We cry. We laugh. We journey with each other through our stories.

I will remember the young man I met who had determined to run in several marathons across the nation as a commitment to his family to get healthy. By the time he arrived for the Los Angeles race, he had already conquered three others. And I won’t soon forget the Nigerian princess who chose the roller coaster instability of the actor’s life over the security of her throne.

As we listen to our triumphs and failures, we identify with each other and realize that we’re all on this path together. We find ways that we can contribute and help one another. We are transported from our woe-is-me mindsets to being engaged in one another’s lives.

Ask the Question, Hear the Answer
Our universal love and need for stories is the very reason that any of us have jobs in Hollywood in the first place. We’re all involved in telling stories. We write, produce, direct, and act in stories. We acquire, sell, and leverage stories. We screen, review and reward stories. We’re created with a natural bent and draw toward stories.

So, what’s your story?
Are you willing to share?
More importantly, are you willing to listen?

The next time we meet someone new, let’s challenge ourselves to think beyond “What does he do?” or “How can she further my career?” Let’s think, “What is his story?” and “How can I contribute to make things better for her?”

It may be a different approach, but it’s a rewarding path none-the-less. With our stories, we connect with each other and know that we are not alone. We make sense out of our everchanging world. We understand and express our faith.

Go ahead, try it.

Best case scenario: we build wonderful relationships based on mutual interest and authenticity, instead of “What can you do for me?”

Worst case scenario: we experience each other’s lives and come away more enriched and inspired.

Either scenario feels like a winner to me. Go forth!

Originally posted on September 15, 2011