The Exhausting Work of People-Pleasing
I have been a people-pleaser for most of my life. Now, not everyone was in my category of “worth pleasing.” I can also confess that my heart was to always please people for the benefit of them loving me. I did not want anything from those to who I was trying to please, other than love and acceptance.
The ones I was consistently trying to please were the influencers in my life. You could even say that some were mentors or spiritual leaders. Yes, it is a noble and good thing to serve your leader, mentor, pastor, etc. However, I attached their reaction of my servitude to my own peace and joy.
If I performed well I would get a pat on the back and they would say, “Wow, you did great tonight. We love you. Thanks for all your hard work.”
Sure, they were being kind. However, some knew that I needed that attention and used it to manipulate me into doing more for them.
After a few years of people pleasing I began to feel worn out. Finding approval in others is the most exhausting thing that I have ever done. I cannot tell you of a more mentally draining task than that of people pleasing. Why? The beast never gets fed enough. If you climb one mountain, you feel as though you must climb three more to maintain your relationship with people you think you need. It is a never-ending struggle, until one day you burn out and give up.
So today, I want you to make a decision to do as Galatians 1:10 suggests and begin to live your life to please God and not man. Sure, you can serve humanity as we are supposed to do, but we cannot find our self-worth, love, acceptance, and forgiveness in humanity. There is only One from which we can gain such peace.
Do you struggle with people-pleasing? If so, how do you handle the inner struggle that people-pleasing brings?
As a former senior pastor who burned out very young, Matt Wade writes and speaks to prevent other young leaders from doing the same. Read his blog at Human Like You.
Image • Matt Wade
- Eric Speir published the blogpost Steps Are For People And Leaps Are For Frogs (Here’s why!).
- Barbie Swihart published the blogpost Featured Friend: Annetta Bosakova & FREE Printable!.
- Diane Paddison published the blogpost Bridging the Generation Gap:: Embracing Mentorship.
- Judy Douglass published the blogpost Done Is Better Than Perfect–Guest Post by Ken Cochrum.
- Matt Perman published the blogpost How the Gospel Makes Us Productive: My Interview on Faith Radio.
- Anita Palmer just moved in. Take time to say hey.
- Jenni Ingram just moved in. Take time to say hey.
- Brian Dodd published the blogpost 5 Lessons On Top Talent And Their Impact On Church Growth.
- Cathy Roberts just moved in. Take time to say hey.
- Caitlin Wilson published the blogpost Winners Announced from Terri Blackstock’s ‘Distortion’ Author Chat Party.
- Amy Lathrop published the blogpost Winners Announced from Terri Blackstock’s ‘Distortion’ Author Chat Party.
- Audra Jennings published the blogpost Billy Coffey shares a gripping tale about the destructive nature of secrets and regret.
- Tyger Burch just moved in. Take time to say hey.
- FaithVillage Administrator published the blogpost Church Membership Matters - Church Membership Matters.
- FaithVillage Administrator published the blogpost Chosen - Part 5 - Why Evangelize if God Elects? - Chosen.
- FaithVillage Administrator published the blogpost The Key to Contentment - Part 1 - The Key To Contentment.
- FaithVillage Administrator published the blogpost The Key to Contentment - Part 2 - The Key To Contentment.
- FaithVillage Administrator published the blogpost ACTS | Spirit-Empowered Jesus - ACTS | Spirit-Empowered Mission.
- FaithVillage Administrator published the blogpost ACTS | Spirit-Empowered Church - ACTS | Spirit-Empowered Mission.
- FaithVillage Administrator published the blogpost ACTS | Spirit-Empowered Preaching - ACTS | Spirit-Empowered Mission.
- FaithVillage Administrator published the blogpost ACTS | Spirit-Empowered Healing - ACTS | Spirit-Empowered Mission.
- Clarence FellThe cross was not about improving your earthly life. Jesus was not trying to save you from earthly discomforts. In fact, He warned that following Him could make your earthly life worse, (Matt. 10:35-36). Jesus had something far greater than earthly life in view in His ministry. What do you think He was looking to?
- Darlene Cook uploaded a photo
- Reinaldo de Sousa just moved in. Take time to say hey.
- Darlene Cook created a new gallery
- Darlene Cook just moved in. Take time to say hey.
- Bill Ellis just moved in. Take time to say hey.
- Jon StallingsMy sermon from Sunday Leaving Egypt | @ Life Church
When the Israelites left Egypt to head to the Promise Land they left their thoughts and hearts back in Egypt as slaves. No matter how much God blessed them they still longed to go back.
It would take Jesus Christ to be our Redeemer who would finally lead us out of the bondage to sin, our personal Egypt. The question is, do we really want to leave? http://buff.ly/1g2GaZe
- chamaigne lyons just moved in. Take time to say hey.
- Allen Mendez just moved in. Take time to say hey.
- Jon StallingsReligion can be bad, & a lot of people hate it. But stop complaining and tell me the positive side of how you follow Jesus.