I have been marinating on this verse from Proverbs 29, “fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.“
There are so many things that surface for me regarding the word “fear.” I wouldn’t consider myself a fearful person. I am not afraid of heights, spiders (maybe a little), snakes, bugs, public speaking, and I don’t think I was born with the embarrassment gene. When it came to the game Truth or Dare, I always chose dare. I love engaging in things in which adrenaline turns my voice into a silent expression of awe.
Sky diving, didn’t free fall long enough.
Bungee jumping, the taller the drop the better.
Great White shark diving, first in the water.
But what about those little fears that are harder to identify? What about those things you catch glimpses of that leave you conflicted?
As I read this proverb, I started to think through and ask myself the question of what are my fears? I discovered that my fears are wrapped up in the things around me. I can safely say that the root of all my pride filled moments, anger, and conflict, resides a hidden fear in me.
I am broken and those broken parts in me are messy.
The masks of fear in me look like not knowing or feeling like I am enough. I struggle with feeling like I am not good enough or the fear of not having anything good to offer. I greatly crave wanting to offer something worthwhile and great. I fear accpetance in certain groups of people. I fear feeling foolish or stupid.
On this road of mine, I have experienced pain and wounds. Anyone who has experienced pain would love to guard against ever feeling that level of pain again – or any pain for that matter. I am learning to recognize how that fear manifests itself in me.
I would love to trust more easily without the small voice of doubt. Yet that is the fear that grips tightest in me. It is a good thing that the rest of the verse talks about the solution to fear, trusting in Him. Sometimes I wish everything wasn’t in the catagorey of “life-long process.”
How are you fears doing?
Do you know what your fears are?