Six months ago I vowed to honor, to love, and to do life untildeath with my best friend. Looking back, I can honestly say I didn’t know all the subcategoriesthat go unmentioned when making these vows.
These subcategories include juggling class loads together, crunchingout research papers, embracing job changes, working seventy hour weeks, facilitatingchurch functions, going shopping for the sake of spending time together,anticipating each other’s needs, coordinating wedding plans, taking mini vacations,laboring through Clinical Pastoral Education, traveling for work, preparinglesson plans, and saying goodbye to old friends.
More subcategories include battling illnesses, ulcers andthe strep throats. Fightingover who makes the bed, folds the laundry, or takes out the trash. In reality, we’ve vowed to laugh over howmuch I don’t know about cooking (and maybe life in general). We’ve vowed to play countless games ofSequence and Banana-grams.
We’ve vowedto honor each other even when the situations don’t call for it and to remainemotionally available – even when it’s hard. We’ve vowed to battle for personal, alone time. We’ve vowed to go on runs together even at apace slower than I’d like. We’ve vowedto talk about doing more with friends – even when we can’t seem to find thetime. We’ve vowed to cry together, playNintendo Wii, and laugh at each other hoola-hooping. In reality, we’ve vowed to learn that stealingthe covers and waking the other up every single night is equally as rude aswatching SportsCenter while the other is sleeping.
And these vows help us find a rhythm. We now eat dinner and talk about our day as well as learn how the other needs to beheard. And through all of this, we learn that thevalue and intensity of the vows made six months ago run far deeper than justheavy-handed words.
Making these vows was easy – living these vows out todaycarries much more weight. But despitethe hidden anecdotes – I’d make them over and over again!
I don’t make these vows because life is currently easy orlove is saturating. I don’t make them because visions of sugarplums dance in my head. On the contrary, I make these vows because I believein the words Noelle told me the night of our wedding – “My hope for ourmarriage is that the best is always yet to come.”
Now six months in – I can honestly say I’d never haveguessed it to be such a fun dance. Thereare times we do marriage quite well – it’s smooth, calculated, and lookseffortless. There are other times thatappear much more blocky, choppy, and uncoordinated. There are fast parts, slow parts, dips,twirls, and mistakes. But all along themusic keeps playing and we keep dancing knowing that as long as we keep vowingto hold on to each other the best is always yet to come.
Happy six months Noelle. I love you!