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Last night I tossed and turned for hours. It was so strange — out of nowhere, I woke up with an overwhelming fear for my son’s safety. I was afraid that some day, somewhere, when I am not there to protect him, he would fall. Like, literally, fall — off a balcony, down some stairs, or over a rail.
As random as that fear seems, especially in the middle of the night when Isaac was safe and sound in his crib, the fear isn’t new. Ever since Isaac was born, I’ve had an irrational fear that he would somehow fall from a great height. Some of you might remember that during the first week of his life, I made my dad and brother tie a volleyball net over an open stairwell in our home. It was a major eyesore, but I needed it there. Otherwise, every time I walked by that stairwell it filled me with panic.
It all happens in a flash. Our youngest turns 8 and counts the minutes until his friends arrive for backyard maniac birthday party. My eldest turns 21 and heads to Prague with his collegiate basketball team to inspire high school students to strive for an uplifted life. Then, of course, he’s taking the dozens of dollars he’ll have left to tour Germany and Austria for an extra week. (Ah, yes. No “SendMoney” phone calls coming from that one, right?) In the middle of our home-tribe, is a beautiful and high-integrity 15 year old part-young-woman and part-little-girl who is trying figure out how she thinks about smut on instagram.
Whether you’re a first-time mom or a seasoned veteran of motherhood, God graciously gives each mother nine months. Nine months to prepare for a sacred journey — a journey you will be taking with this particular child, to nurture, to disciple, and to teach about Jesus.
Nine months isn’t very long to prepare for such a journey. But God knows you will never truly be ready for the rigorous demands of motherhood. If you were, you would have no need to lean on Him in dependence, no need to keep your own eyes on Jesus, your Guide. Though you will never be completely ready for motherhood, God longs to help you — He longs for you to make the most of this waiting time by drawing nearer to Him. …